Write Like Nobody is Reading
From rejected satire pitches to a lonely barista’s coffee specials,
sometimes you have to write things knowing full well that no one is going to read any of it.
Hard pass, Mary.
We all get rejected.
Here are my most recent rejected headlines from The Onion and Clickhole.
Guse’s Gourmet Coffee Specials
At one point during my 15 year stint in food service, I had the luxury of writing drink specials at Guse’s Gourmet Coffee in Longview, Washington.
The drink specials were posted to the cafe’s Facebook page, where I routinely received zero likes.
A special of mine once gathered 3 likes, but the excitement was short-lived as the next day a coworker posted a meme of a Minion drinking coffee, which gathered 7 likes.